Options if I’m unable to find a teaching job next year

1) Knitting

Broken seed stitch socks

Broken seed stitch socks

Featherweight cardigan

Benefits include the fact that I do this anyways and that I can literally (not figuratively, I promise) do it with my eyes closed.  Drawbacks include the fact that I refuse to knit with crap yarn, so would spend all of my earnings on more yarn (this is what I do already with all of my earnings from knitting).  Additionally, even if I knit 24 hours a day, I don’t think I could even make enough money to buy dog and chicken food.  Maybe I should go to the Equator and run on a beach ball at 1000 miles an hour, because then the sun would stop moving in the sky.  Maybe then I could knit fast enough.  (I was listening to a Radiolab podcast on the way to work today… did you know that every day is 54 billionths of a second longer than the day before?  This is officially the shortest day of the rest of your life.  Huh…)

2) Flower farmerGaillardia - not another word for a yucky stomach illness

Iris, but not the grape kool-aid kind

Tree peonyThere’s lots of benefits here too… like the fact that I own a farm, that I like to get my hands (and feet for that matter) dirty, that I love flowers and all things colourful, that our bees are all dying and could use all the help they can get… the list can go on.  I’m trying my hand at this too, but with one farmer in the family who needs a farm enabler, I’m not sure that farming flowers is really going to help this situation.  We live on a small island and we’re not really equipped, especially the way that BC Ferries is going, to expand our sales off island.  And some people here like to buy our vegetables, and I’m sure some will love to buy our flowers… but lots of other people here like to grow their own, so I’m really not sure that this is the way to financially support us.  It sure does make me happy though.  Maybe less so when it’s raining out.  Or the deer broke through the fence.  Or when there’s too many thistles and blackberries and prickly things.  Or when thrips eat all of my gladiolas.  I don’t know if I’m emotionally tough enough to be a full-time farmer, come to think of it…

3) A herpetologist

Snake eyeballs Inside-out snake skin 35" longI don’t actually want to go back to school to study snakes, even though I think they’re incredibly cool and I love that they eat critters in my garden.  Mostly I just wanted to figure out what the word was for a person who studies reptiles, use that word, teach it to you and show you these pictures of a snake skin that I found in our garden, full with peeled-off eyeballs and everything.  It was still moist when we found it, and the snake was nearby and super shiny.  Plus, I don’t know if the government, or anyone really, funds herpetologists any more than they’re funding education…

Any other clever ideas out there?

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7 responses to “Options if I’m unable to find a teaching job next year

  1. This does not look like a “flower” but I like it ha.

  2. Ermmm…. You could dig for gold? With a pan? Or become a you tube sensation with do it yourself farming videos? Or do it yourself knitting videos? You could put up a few tents and charge people an astronomically large amount of money to live the “pioneering” life on your farm, but really just get them to do your work for you? You could ummm…. Come up with fake herbal “tonics” and sell them to gullible people as youth serums? And umm… I am out of ideas. But I feel like some of mine are just as reasonable as some of yours

  3. Rebecca Mohrs

    I have some yarn for you. It’s really pretty, but I bought it for felting, and it doesn’t work for me in that way. I’ll bring it to work tomorrow. 🙂
    But I think you’re too good a teacher to go into knitting full time.

  4. You could write books! I’m really enjoying your blog!

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